1 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:04,970 [♪] 2 00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,643 You want another burger, al? 3 00:01:18,644 --> 00:01:20,311 They're almost finished. 4 00:01:26,451 --> 00:01:29,487 You made 'em just like I like 'em. 5 00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:30,789 Dark. 6 00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:33,591 There you go, honey. 7 00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:35,760 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 8 00:01:42,401 --> 00:01:43,702 Well... 9 00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:44,969 Urp! 10 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,771 I'm full. 11 00:01:46,772 --> 00:01:49,908 Okay, honey, now it's time to do your chores. 12 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:53,511 Wait a second, peg. We had sex three nights ago. 13 00:01:53,512 --> 00:01:56,214 I'm still kind of woozy. 14 00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:57,448 The garbage, al. 15 00:01:57,449 --> 00:02:01,552 The longer of the two jobs. 16 00:02:01,553 --> 00:02:04,122 And the more rewarding. 17 00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:10,962 Don't you even know how to do that? 18 00:02:10,963 --> 00:02:13,497 Aw, thanks, peg. Now it's exactly like sex. 19 00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:20,038 I can't believe it. 20 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:21,339 I failed. 21 00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:23,708 Which class was it this time? 22 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:26,277 Oh, daddy, I'm not talking about school. 23 00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:28,613 Why would I care about that? 24 00:02:28,614 --> 00:02:32,817 Mom, I flirted with a boy, and he paid no attention to me. 25 00:02:32,818 --> 00:02:34,485 Oh, honey. 26 00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:39,590 Well, you can't give up. 27 00:02:39,591 --> 00:02:41,592 You've gotta keep on trying. 28 00:02:41,593 --> 00:02:42,994 Well, there's nowhere left to go 29 00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:44,796 Once you've stood in the boys' shower, 30 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,031 Wearing a sign that says "soap." 31 00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:51,435 Hey, I play for keeps. 32 00:02:52,571 --> 00:02:53,872 It's unbelievable. 33 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,874 Every time I've wanted a guy, I've gotten him. 34 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,876 I mean, I'm famous for it, 35 00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:59,477 But this guy won't even look at me. 36 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:00,779 Mom, you've got to help me. 37 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,580 What did you do in school to get guys? 38 00:03:02,581 --> 00:03:06,284 Same thing she does now to chase them away. 39 00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:08,186 Daddy, we're talking. 40 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,521 Just clean up the garbage, al. 41 00:03:10,522 --> 00:03:12,190 Oh, god. 42 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:15,226 Well, kelly, 43 00:03:15,227 --> 00:03:16,327 A good place to start 44 00:03:16,328 --> 00:03:18,629 Is to pretend that you have a common interest. 45 00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:20,999 Now, what does this guy like? 46 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,700 Football. 47 00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,936 Everyone wants a football player. 48 00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:26,637 I played football. 49 00:03:26,638 --> 00:03:29,640 You know, football players aren't very bright, 50 00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:31,676 And they usually wind up doing menial jobs 51 00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:33,778 For minimum wage, 52 00:03:33,779 --> 00:03:36,747 Desperately clinging to their former glory. 53 00:03:36,748 --> 00:03:39,951 Yep, yep. They called me touchdown bundy. 54 00:03:39,952 --> 00:03:42,887 Yeah, I was great. 55 00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,989 Mom, I have never failed at getting a guy. 56 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:47,058 I mean, once that goes, I'm nothing. 57 00:03:47,059 --> 00:03:48,626 No, kel. 58 00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:50,628 Once the lips stop saying, "yes," 59 00:03:50,629 --> 00:03:52,330 And the eyes stop saying, "duh," 60 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,732 Then you're nothing. 61 00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:57,768 If only it was as easy for me 62 00:03:57,769 --> 00:03:59,437 As it is for bud. 63 00:03:59,438 --> 00:04:00,839 A penthouse, a night light, 64 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,573 And a pillow named shirley. 65 00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:09,580 One problem at a time, kids. 66 00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:12,650 Now, kelly, here's what I think you're doing wrong. 67 00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,585 Stop flirting with this boy at school. 68 00:04:14,586 --> 00:04:16,888 Get him alone with no distractions. 69 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:20,225 Get him to tell you all his secret dreams and hopes, 70 00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:24,896 And then use them to crush him. 71 00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:28,666 The important thing is to go after what you want. 72 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:31,202 I did. 73 00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:33,671 Al: Peg, I stepped in the garbage can, 74 00:04:33,672 --> 00:04:35,306 And I can't get out! 75 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:40,178 I'll be right there, al! 76 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:43,547 Just be sure it really is what you want. 77 00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:49,053 Hey, no-life, I need a favor. 78 00:04:49,054 --> 00:04:50,889 I want you help me get this guy. 79 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:51,990 What's wrong, 80 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:55,193 The breakaway blouse isn't working? 81 00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:59,397 Hey, I'm asking you nice, you little eunuch. 82 00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:00,765 Anyway, I have an idea. 83 00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,233 I checked up on this guy, 84 00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:04,635 And I know he's not doing too good in english. 85 00:05:04,636 --> 00:05:06,404 "well," kelly. 86 00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:09,107 Well what? 87 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,574 [sighs] 88 00:05:12,844 --> 00:05:16,180 Okay. So he ain't done no good in english. 89 00:05:16,181 --> 00:05:17,215 So what? 90 00:05:19,584 --> 00:05:21,519 Okay, once again. 91 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,055 In of mice and men, the big one was... 92 00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:25,056 Lenny. 93 00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:26,557 Very good. 94 00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,758 And the little one was... 95 00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:30,795 Squiggy? 96 00:05:33,465 --> 00:05:36,834 Good. Good. 97 00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:40,104 Now that we've, uh, conquered literature, 98 00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:41,472 Let's move on to spelling. 99 00:05:41,473 --> 00:05:42,773 First word... 100 00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:46,744 "tramp." 101 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,050 Okay, I think it's time for a break. 102 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,251 Now, listen, matt. 103 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:55,286 You just stay here and run the alphabet 104 00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:56,955 From a to f like we've been doing. 105 00:06:02,727 --> 00:06:04,662 I'm kelly. 106 00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:08,466 Remember? We met in the boys' shower the other day? 107 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:12,303 Oh, yeah. The soup girl. 108 00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:15,806 The soap girl. 109 00:06:15,807 --> 00:06:17,141 S-o-p-e. 110 00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:25,183 You're a football player. 111 00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,085 I have a football question for you. 112 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:33,024 I get cramps in my leg right here. 113 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,293 Do you think you could get that out? 114 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,596 Well, it may take some time, but I'll do what I can. 115 00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:42,733 Uh, hi, dad. 116 00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:45,269 Dad, I'm kelly, and this is matt. 117 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:47,805 I'd like you to meet us. 118 00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:52,110 Nice to meet you, kelly. 119 00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:55,013 So, uh, you're the football player, huh? 120 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:56,580 You know, I used to play football. 121 00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:58,883 You remember the panthers of '66? 122 00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:02,286 Yeah, they were the last championship team at our school. 123 00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:03,521 Daddy... 124 00:07:03,522 --> 00:07:05,356 Al: Later, kelly. 125 00:07:05,357 --> 00:07:07,158 You know who the fullback was on that team? 126 00:07:07,159 --> 00:07:08,159 Take a guess. 127 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,528 Red grange? 128 00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:12,497 Well, close. 129 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,764 Me. 130 00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,233 You're red grange? 131 00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:17,468 Pleased to meet you, sir. 132 00:07:17,469 --> 00:07:19,237 Uh, I'm pleased to meet you too, 133 00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:23,707 But you can call me by my nickname, al bundy. 134 00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:24,975 Daddy... 135 00:07:24,976 --> 00:07:26,377 So, what position do you play, son? 136 00:07:26,378 --> 00:07:27,545 Fullback. Yeah? 137 00:07:27,546 --> 00:07:29,813 Well, we went both ways in our day. 138 00:07:29,814 --> 00:07:31,882 Well, now a lot of the guys on the team 139 00:07:31,883 --> 00:07:33,317 Go both ways. 140 00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:34,585 Not me, though. 141 00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:37,955 I like girls. 142 00:07:37,956 --> 00:07:40,191 Ahem. Ahem. 143 00:07:40,192 --> 00:07:42,460 Kelly, you want to take something for that? 144 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:45,530 Anyhow, yeah, we were really great back then. Yep. 145 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,665 Only team in polk history to go undefeated. 146 00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,700 Now, that's something that'll never happen again. 147 00:07:49,701 --> 00:07:51,169 We're undefeated too. 148 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,205 Hmm? Well, h-how many games you got left? 149 00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:56,140 One. This Saturday. 150 00:07:56,141 --> 00:07:58,008 You really ought to come see your record 151 00:07:58,009 --> 00:08:00,078 Go down the drain, mr. Grange. 152 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,479 I can get you good seats. 153 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,549 Did I tell you that I hold the school record 154 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,184 For touchdowns in a season? 155 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,518 That's amazing. 156 00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:10,020 I'm one touchdown away from breaking that record too. 157 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:11,522 [laughs] 158 00:08:11,523 --> 00:08:15,059 It's a young man's world, you know? 159 00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:17,562 [laughs] 160 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:20,431 You know I think we have an old football out back. 161 00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:22,567 What say me and you go out there 162 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,369 And you, uh...Show me some of your moves? 163 00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:28,372 Sure. Let's go. 164 00:08:28,373 --> 00:08:31,275 Uh, matt, remember? My leg? 165 00:08:31,276 --> 00:08:34,545 Oh, I'll look at it later, kathy. 166 00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:39,083 It's kelly. The soup girl. 167 00:08:39,084 --> 00:08:41,486 Hey, kel, where's matt? 168 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:42,720 Al: Damn it! 169 00:08:42,721 --> 00:08:44,422 [laughs] 170 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,591 That's what we call a "fake left, go right." 171 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,959 Well... I'm a little rusty. 172 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,362 You want to try it again? 173 00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:53,364 You little son of a... 174 00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:58,236 I can't believe it. I almost had him. 175 00:08:59,638 --> 00:09:01,272 [laughs] 176 00:09:01,273 --> 00:09:02,373 That's what we call 177 00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:03,941 A "faking you out of your jock." 178 00:09:03,942 --> 00:09:05,709 Yeah, well, I thought I dropped a quarter. 179 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:06,877 Let's try it again. 180 00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:09,780 Go back there and take a run at it this time. 181 00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:13,184 Give it up, kelly. You're just not his type. 182 00:09:14,119 --> 00:09:17,388 I am everybody's type. 183 00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:19,390 But why can't I get this one guy? 184 00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,759 Because all he knows is sports, 185 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,794 And all he likes is cheerleaders. 186 00:09:23,795 --> 00:09:24,895 [stomping] 187 00:09:24,896 --> 00:09:27,231 Al: Ooh! [thud] 188 00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:28,499 That's what I call 189 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,302 An "open-handed chop to the adam's apple." 190 00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:40,778 Then that's what I'm gonna be, 191 00:09:40,779 --> 00:09:41,779 A cheerleader. 192 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,814 Kelly, I hate to burst your bubble, 193 00:09:43,815 --> 00:09:45,550 But there's only one more game left, 194 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:48,386 And the squad is full. It's impossible. 195 00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:52,890 Who could have put poison oak in your pompoms? 196 00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:56,126 Damn the luck. 197 00:09:56,127 --> 00:09:57,328 Next. 198 00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:00,698 I'm kelly bundy, 199 00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:04,435 And the dream of my life is to become a polk dot, 200 00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:07,405 So here's a little cheer that I wrote myself. 201 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:10,441 [quietly] 1, 2, 3, 4... 202 00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:13,844 P-o-k-e! 203 00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:15,413 Poke high! 204 00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,781 Yay! 205 00:10:21,553 --> 00:10:23,421 Very good, 206 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:28,259 But it's p-o-l-k, polk high. 207 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,295 You know, after president james k. Polk? 208 00:10:36,801 --> 00:10:38,202 What do you think, ms. Mount? 209 00:10:38,203 --> 00:10:41,038 [gruffly] I like her. I like her a lot. 210 00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,546 Congratulations, miss bundy, you are now a polk dot. 211 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,013 I'm so excited. 212 00:10:50,014 --> 00:10:52,850 Congratulations, kelly! That's so great! 213 00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:54,918 Get a life, will you? 214 00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:01,392 [whistle blows] 215 00:11:01,393 --> 00:11:03,894 [marching band playing] 216 00:11:03,895 --> 00:11:05,095 All right, 33 to the right. 217 00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:06,196 Now, make it work. 218 00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:07,965 [all shouting] 219 00:11:07,966 --> 00:11:09,967 [crowd cheering] 220 00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,739 Oh, come on, al, perk up. 221 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,774 I mean, even if your record is broken, 222 00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,376 You still have me. 223 00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:21,479 Yeah, and my job as shoe salesman. 224 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,481 That's right, honey. 225 00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:28,486 Sometimes you've just got to pick the man up. 226 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,288 Oh, buck up, al, polk's only up by 7. 227 00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,289 Aw, polk can't lose. 228 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:33,491 It's a home game against the school 229 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,760 From the rich white neighborhood. 230 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:38,128 Let's face it, steve, my record's history. 231 00:11:38,129 --> 00:11:40,298 I really tried to hurt that kid, you know? 232 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,499 I know, al. 233 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,334 Hey, I got something to make you feel better. 234 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:44,568 Look at this. 235 00:11:44,569 --> 00:11:46,337 Now, watch this, al. 236 00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:47,638 Yay, team! 237 00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:53,177 Am I a fan, or what? 238 00:11:53,178 --> 00:11:56,447 I feel so alone. 239 00:11:56,448 --> 00:12:00,518 Oh, honey, look at our little girl. 240 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:01,786 She may not graduate, 241 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:05,255 But she is the prettiest cheerleader in school. 242 00:12:05,256 --> 00:12:07,291 All [chanting]: Poke 'em in! Poke 'em out! 243 00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:09,092 Poke 'em, poke 'em in the snout! 244 00:12:09,093 --> 00:12:13,030 If they holler, let 'em go! Eeny, meeny, miney, mo! 245 00:12:13,031 --> 00:12:14,532 Polk high! 246 00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:16,334 Go, matt! 247 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,968 Come here! 248 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:20,404 I'm yours! 249 00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:27,110 Why doesn't matt ever play with the ball over by me? 250 00:12:27,111 --> 00:12:29,547 Yoo-hoo, matt! Matt! 251 00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:31,749 Hey, don't pat him, pat me! 252 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:32,616 Ow! 253 00:12:35,286 --> 00:12:37,321 [crowd cheering] 254 00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:38,956 Yay, kelly! 255 00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:40,023 [laughs] 256 00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:42,460 Ah... Look at her, marce. 257 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:43,994 I'm so proud of her. 258 00:12:43,995 --> 00:12:49,400 See how she raises her legs higher than everyone else? 259 00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:54,905 Yes. But the other girls are standing up. 260 00:12:54,906 --> 00:12:56,774 Announcer: And the point-after is good. 261 00:12:56,775 --> 00:13:00,244 The score, the james k. Polk panthers, 14, 262 00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:03,647 The chester a. Arthur aryans, nothing. 263 00:13:03,648 --> 00:13:06,016 [crowd applauding] 264 00:13:06,017 --> 00:13:07,518 You stink! 265 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,289 Oh, al, must the fact that your glory days are over 266 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,324 Drag us all down? 267 00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:16,560 I mean, even if your record is broken, 268 00:13:16,561 --> 00:13:17,995 You still hold the record 269 00:13:17,996 --> 00:13:22,366 For the most consecutive days without sex, 270 00:13:22,367 --> 00:13:26,470 And no high school kid's gonna break that one. 271 00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:28,806 You know, it's amazing. 272 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:30,908 You got to give marcy a lot of credit. 273 00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:32,309 I thought she'd be gloating, 274 00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:35,178 But she genuinely feels bad for me. 275 00:13:35,179 --> 00:13:37,948 Marcy: Look at those young boys. 276 00:13:37,949 --> 00:13:39,450 Those tight little buns 277 00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:42,453 Squeezed into those tight little uniforms. 278 00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:44,121 Spike me, baby. 279 00:13:44,122 --> 00:13:45,823 Spike me. 280 00:13:53,932 --> 00:13:55,599 Announcer: And late in the second quarter, 281 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,737 The score, polk, 14, chester a. Arthur, 7. 282 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,705 This is discrimination. 283 00:14:01,706 --> 00:14:03,908 You know, the guys on the team have it so easy. 284 00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,709 A guy gets a little knee to the groin, 285 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:07,144 He gets treated like a baby. 286 00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:08,746 Well, I'm cheering with a bunion, 287 00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:10,714 And I want some attention. 288 00:14:10,715 --> 00:14:11,749 Water boy! 289 00:14:14,252 --> 00:14:15,519 What are you doing here? 290 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,655 Well, I had a little poison oak left over, 291 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,491 So I decided to take out the water boy. 292 00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:22,359 Meet the new water boy. 293 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:26,363 You don't even bathe. What do you know about water? 294 00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:29,099 I know if you spray some on a cheerleader's sweater, 295 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:32,002 You get a cheap thrill. 296 00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:34,338 I want water. 297 00:14:41,412 --> 00:14:43,347 Oops. 298 00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:44,849 All right, now, listen up. 299 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,283 This game is for the championship. 300 00:14:46,284 --> 00:14:47,451 I want 100 percent. Right? 301 00:14:47,452 --> 00:14:48,586 Yeah! Right! 302 00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:49,954 Here's the play we're gonna run. 303 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:51,288 Now, look-- 304 00:14:52,991 --> 00:14:55,593 Don't mind me. I'm just here to cheer. 305 00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:57,127 Go, matt! 306 00:14:57,128 --> 00:15:00,430 Hey! Do you mind? 307 00:15:00,431 --> 00:15:03,166 Do I interrupt when you're speaking? 308 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,334 Ow! 309 00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:07,771 [crowd cheering] 310 00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:12,710 Get him! Yeah! 311 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:16,614 All right! Cheerleader huddle! 312 00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:17,715 All right, girls. 313 00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:19,483 We're up, but it's close, 314 00:15:19,484 --> 00:15:21,886 And the guys really need your support. 315 00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:24,488 Men always need a woman's support. 316 00:15:24,489 --> 00:15:25,789 What do they give us? 317 00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:28,425 Nothing we can use. 318 00:15:28,426 --> 00:15:31,762 That's why we must treasure these moments together. 319 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,063 By the way, 320 00:15:33,064 --> 00:15:35,432 Tonight will be the traditional year-end slumber party 321 00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:37,401 At my place. 322 00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:39,703 You seniors know what I mean. 323 00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:41,104 All right, now, get out there 324 00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:43,707 And shake your dots for polk high! 325 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:45,409 [chanting] our team is what? 326 00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:46,410 Others [chanting]: Red hot! 327 00:15:46,411 --> 00:15:47,411 Our team is what? 328 00:15:47,412 --> 00:15:48,412 Red hot! 329 00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:50,714 Our team is r-e-d red h-o-t hot! 330 00:15:50,715 --> 00:15:52,416 Once we start we cannot stop! 331 00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,518 Uh-huh! 332 00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:55,786 Uh-huh! 333 00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:56,854 Hike! 334 00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:59,389 [♪] 335 00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,914 [crowd gasps] 336 00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:32,590 So when do the football players 337 00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:33,991 Come over and talk to us? 338 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,125 [scoffs] 339 00:16:35,126 --> 00:16:37,962 Nobody talks to us. We might as well be lepers. 340 00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:40,898 I can't wait till this game is over. 341 00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:42,700 So, you want to come to my house tonight 342 00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:43,601 And play some records? 343 00:16:45,169 --> 00:16:46,403 No. 344 00:16:46,404 --> 00:16:48,338 You're a geek. 345 00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:52,142 Announcer: And we're late in the fourth quarter, 346 00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:55,646 And polk is six minutes away from an undefeated season. 347 00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:57,948 I can't take this. 348 00:16:57,949 --> 00:17:00,183 Ah, what else could happen to me? 349 00:17:00,184 --> 00:17:02,853 Announcer: Your attention, please. 350 00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:04,221 Folks, I've just been told 351 00:17:04,222 --> 00:17:08,458 Red grange is in the stands today. 352 00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:10,794 Maybe he'll stand up for us. 353 00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:13,097 [applause] 354 00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:24,141 Did you see him? 355 00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:25,743 Announcer: Matt gibson has the ball. 356 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:26,877 He cuts right. 357 00:17:26,878 --> 00:17:28,912 He's running down the sidelines. 358 00:17:28,913 --> 00:17:30,313 Matt, matt! 359 00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:32,482 Yoo-hoo! Matt! 360 00:17:32,483 --> 00:17:36,020 555-287... 361 00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:52,002 [♪] 362 00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,270 [blows whistle] 363 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:05,215 Marcy: So young, so young... 364 00:18:05,216 --> 00:18:06,750 Hey, number 21, 365 00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:09,653 If you got the place, I'll do the time. 366 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:14,357 Oh, yeah. 367 00:18:16,494 --> 00:18:20,363 Peg: Poor al. He's having such a miserable day. 368 00:18:20,364 --> 00:18:25,669 Gee, I hope he doesn't realize this jacket cost $200. 369 00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:30,273 Al: My record is going to hell. 370 00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:32,109 No one will remember me. 371 00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:35,913 And my wife is wearing a $200 jacket. 372 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:41,118 Steve: I think if I get into fourth gear 373 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,519 A little sooner, 374 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:48,425 I can really increase my miles per gallon. 375 00:18:48,426 --> 00:18:50,761 Oh, man, I'll tell marcy on the way home. 376 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,864 It'll really turn her on. 377 00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:55,799 Announcer: It's polk with the ball. 378 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,336 They're up 21-14 with 20 seconds to go. 379 00:18:59,337 --> 00:19:01,671 There's the snap. The ball pops loose. 380 00:19:01,672 --> 00:19:03,473 It lands in the hands of an aryan. 381 00:19:03,474 --> 00:19:05,142 He's lumbering into the end zone. 382 00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:06,409 Touchdown! 383 00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,145 Yes! 384 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:11,581 It's now polk, 21, chester a. Arthur, 20, 385 00:19:11,582 --> 00:19:14,785 And they're going for the win with a 2-point conversion. 386 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,720 Please let me have this one. 387 00:19:16,721 --> 00:19:19,256 I haven't asked you for much. 388 00:19:19,257 --> 00:19:21,959 You haven't given me much. 389 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,127 You owe me. 390 00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:24,694 Come on, aryans! 391 00:19:24,695 --> 00:19:26,196 Rommel fakes back to pass. 392 00:19:26,197 --> 00:19:28,766 He spots himmler open in the end zone. 393 00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:29,900 He's got it. 394 00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:33,003 The aryans take the lead, 22-21, 395 00:19:33,004 --> 00:19:35,472 With 10 seconds to go in the game. 396 00:19:35,473 --> 00:19:38,242 Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha! 397 00:19:40,344 --> 00:19:41,979 Peg: Oh, god. 398 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,380 Now I'm gonna have to hear 399 00:19:43,381 --> 00:19:44,547 About his stupid record 400 00:19:44,548 --> 00:19:47,584 For the rest of my life. 401 00:19:47,585 --> 00:19:49,653 I'm so happy for you, honey. 402 00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:50,988 [laughing] 403 00:19:56,661 --> 00:19:58,962 I'm going to disneyland. 404 00:20:03,768 --> 00:20:04,802 There's still 10 seconds left. 405 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:06,303 Anything can happen. 406 00:20:06,304 --> 00:20:09,039 Steve, there's three things I'm sure of in this life: 407 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,342 One is I'll be selling shoes till the day I die. 408 00:20:12,343 --> 00:20:16,346 Two is peggy'll win the lottery the very next day. 409 00:20:16,347 --> 00:20:18,882 And three is there's no way polk's gonna win this game. 410 00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:20,250 Only way polk can win 411 00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:22,252 Is if they run the kickoff all the way back 412 00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:23,253 For a touchdown. 413 00:20:23,254 --> 00:20:24,822 That's impossible. 414 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,224 I can't believe this. 415 00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:30,060 The last play of the last game. 416 00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:31,295 I've done all this, 417 00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:32,830 And he didn't even notice me. 418 00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:34,898 And he never will. 419 00:20:34,899 --> 00:20:36,266 Announcer: There's the kickoff. 420 00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,368 Matt gibson takes it deep in his own end zone. 421 00:20:38,369 --> 00:20:39,536 [laughs] 422 00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:41,071 He's at the 10. He's hit. 423 00:20:41,072 --> 00:20:42,772 Now he breaks a tackle and cuts left 424 00:20:42,773 --> 00:20:44,208 And heads up field. 425 00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:46,310 He's at the 20, the 30. 426 00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:49,913 He cuts right. He could go all the way! 427 00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:52,316 No! No! Somebody stop him! 428 00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:53,483 Anybody! 429 00:20:53,484 --> 00:20:56,519 That's my sideline! Here he comes! 430 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,223 Matt! Matt! Over here! 431 00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:00,690 Announcer: He's at midfield all alone. 432 00:21:00,691 --> 00:21:01,959 He's gonna do it! 433 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,560 Nobody can catch him! 434 00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:04,661 I'll be damned. 435 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,265 Gibson is down! 436 00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:09,933 [laughing] [gunshot] 437 00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:11,801 And there's the gun! It's over! 438 00:21:11,802 --> 00:21:14,637 The aryans win 22-21. 439 00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:16,606 Huh-ho, heartbreak! 440 00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:18,775 Now that the season's over, 441 00:21:18,776 --> 00:21:21,544 Homework, my house, midnightish? 442 00:21:21,545 --> 00:21:23,914 Here's my phone number. 443 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,548 [sighs] 444 00:21:27,118 --> 00:21:29,052 [crowd booing] 445 00:21:30,821 --> 00:21:32,422 Call me! 446 00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,061 Well, I know you're upset, 447 00:21:38,062 --> 00:21:39,662 But maybe next time you'll know better 448 00:21:39,663 --> 00:21:43,767 Than to bet on a high school football game. 449 00:21:43,768 --> 00:21:45,135 [sighs] 450 00:21:45,136 --> 00:21:48,338 That was reverend felcher. 451 00:21:48,339 --> 00:21:51,975 Church is another place the bundys are not allowed. 452 00:21:51,976 --> 00:21:56,613 Ah, it's the freeway ban that really hurts. 453 00:21:56,614 --> 00:22:00,150 Honey, you've got to talk to kelly. 454 00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:01,985 Tell her what she did was wrong, 455 00:22:01,986 --> 00:22:04,888 And she disgraced the entire family, 456 00:22:04,889 --> 00:22:07,690 Which is not an easy thing to do. 457 00:22:07,691 --> 00:22:08,959 I'll handle it, peg. 458 00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:11,128 [door opens] 459 00:22:11,129 --> 00:22:12,796 Hi, daddy. 460 00:22:12,797 --> 00:22:15,332 Kelly, sit down here a minute. 461 00:22:18,102 --> 00:22:20,503 Kelly, I want to talk to you 462 00:22:20,504 --> 00:22:22,539 About what happened this afternoon. 463 00:22:25,676 --> 00:22:26,876 Good girl. 464 00:22:40,191 --> 00:22:41,624 [♪]